My Story
Welcome
My name is Vid Gavallér and I'm the founder of Relaxomnia
I am a husband, a father and a musician. I have suffered from severe insomnia for six years. I’ve visited all kinds of medical professionals, tried many sleep hygiene techniques to no avail. Took many types of medication and even went to therapy to fix my sleep. After years and years of defeat I’ve gathered enough knowledge and real experience to finally understand my condition. The answer lies within cognitive psychology, mindfulness and certain behavioral changes that are crucial to recovery. Without these changes unfortunately the cycle remains. But I’m here to help you with your sturggle! You don’t have to stay like this forever.
New Job
It all began with a new job where I had to fulfill two roles at once. Honestly, I didn’t really want that job and was very stressed out the day before. To this day, I don’t know where this thought came from, but as I went to sleep, I told myself, ‘I must sleep now because tomorrow will be very hard.’ And so I stayed up all night. When my alarm went off, I got out of bed super angry and frustrated, and began my first day at the office. I pushed through it, and looking back, it must not have been that difficult to do so. One sleepless night is not that bad. But my mindset was different then. When I arrived home, I was emotionally shaken that I had to endure my first day like this. My anxious thought evolved to ‘If I don’t sleep again, I’m in great trouble!’ Of course, I didn’t.
From there, it all went downhill. After about two months of working with little to no sleep and just being terrified of what was happening to me, I went to a psychiatrist. He prescribed meds. They didn’t work, but I became hooked and dependent on them for the next five years. A month later, I was actually fired from that job. My sleep improved slightly, but with the next stressor, I relapsed and remained an insomniac until my recovery.
Seeking Professional Help
I visited various psychiatrists and psychologists over the years. I was prescribed SSRIs and benzodiazepines. The SSRIs didn’t help and their side effects worsened my overall quality of life. Thankfully, I managed to quit them. However, my dependence on benzodiazepines skyrocketed to the maximum allowed dosage.
Psychiatrists had no idea what was happening to me and only diagnosed me with ‘general anxiety disorder.’ (Quick note: Have you ever experienced severe insomnia despite not feeling anxious?) Meanwhile, psychologists delved into my childhood looking for causes or simply didn’t believe my experiences. They questioned the hours I claimed to have slept—often two hours or none—and asked things like, ‘You say you’re not sleeping. How do you think soldiers sleep under those bad conditions?’ Needless to say, I never returned to those sessions.
Overall, the professional viewpoint seemed to be either you have a disorder or you’re dishonest for some reason. I never received effective help and believe they may have even exacerbated my issues.
Withdrew From Life
I quit my next job after eight months of working under these horrible conditions. I had to force myself out of bed after a cold shower just to go to work. I couldn’t take it anymore. I attended university, but after a year and a half of struggling, I gave in and left. I stopped doing any kind of sports despite loving it. I completely withdrew from life, living in solitude and misery.
Recovery
Finally understanding that the fear of not sleeping is the catalyst for insomnia, I was able to pinpoint my avoidant behaviors—those I had adopted to protect my sleep and shield myself from further suffering. I realized that facing my fear and moving on with my life was the most beneficial step I could take, and so my recovery process began… slowly.
